The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
