Four minutes until I can fart!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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