That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
