you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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