I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
