I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
