You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
