thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize