pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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