I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
