He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
