Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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