he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
