you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
