Heybabeimwearingurpanties
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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