At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
