why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
