are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
