Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
