I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize