Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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