The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So apparently I’m into choking now
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
