you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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