Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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