I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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