Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
