I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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