Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
now i know why i became what i already was.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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