Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
