hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
