Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
