i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
