just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize