She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
