You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
