yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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