Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
