That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
