; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
