Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
