so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
