Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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