I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
