I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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