I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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