thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
