So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize