What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
