You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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