I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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