am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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