i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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