Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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