PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
