Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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