Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize