you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Four minutes until I can fart!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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