My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
