his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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