Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
