Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
