her facebook's as public as her vagina
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
